1. Compile list of no less than 75 topics you are frothing at the mouth to write about. All of them are brilliant. You are a god among writers blogging about writing. You are even a god among writers blogging about blogging about writing.
2. Hem and haw a long time before choosing one–no wait! Choose that one! No no no actually the other one right there! Or…maybe that one?
3. Write write write
4. Delete delete delete
5. Write write write
6. Delete delete delete
7. Sulk. Consolatory coffee and chocolate ensue.
8. Daydream about the brilliant things you will say that no one has said before, in a format no one else has used. Using words no one else has used. Ever.
9. Write write–#$&*%*!!
10. *Bang hands on keyboard*
11. Regret your newbie mistakes.
12. Of course you are, in fact, a newbie.
13. Write a post that is in fact a list because that’s what all those other people do, and it seems to work for them, and you’re just a newbie trying to fumble your way into an already-crowded blogosphere, right? Also if you don’t stop gnawing on your fingernails soon you won’t have any left.
14. Post said list on your fancy-schmancy new blog. YOU MADE IT YOURSELF YOU’RE SO PROUD.
15. Mortification ensues. Weep in the corner. Possibly rock back and forth a bit, if you’re feeling inspired.
16. Go back to computer, open up MS Word, and get back to that novel you’ve been neglecting while trying to write your first blog post.